Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Not so Glorious Lab Life

     Previously I described the "Labs of my Life." It was sweet and caring and to this day I am still madly in love with all the beautiful labradors that have shared their loving smiles and wagging tails in my life. Now the part that I didn't tell you...

     This is the part of pet ownership that in not so glorious. Many of mornings I wake up with the unpleasant sound of whining, more often than not followed by a miniature freak out of laps around the bedroom and a paw landing square on my man parts. If there is anything that will wake up a man in the morning faster I dare you to try and find it. If not the mini tantrum it is a cold nose digging under the blanket draped over my head, followed with incessant licking. Sure enough I am up and at it to give her just what she wants. FOOD. The sound of the glass scooping up the small brown pebbles of puppy chow ignites another burst of energy. The door swings open and out to the the side yard we go.
Brilliant Doings of Tarri the Terror
     The side yard: When Tarri was first purchased she was small enough to escape through the bars of the fencing. This lead me to home depot where a roll of chicken wire, some wire cutters, and a bag of zip ties solved that problem after a few hours worth of measuring, cutting, and zip-tying every possible escape route. The side yard was now puppy proofed, or so I thought. The house for our water heater did not stand a chance against a "Tarri the Terror" tantrum. So back to home depot I go. This time in search of a staple gun, a hammer, and some nails to shape up this masterpiece. Turns out this home is plastered with some sort of impenetrable concrete. So guess what! Back to home depot I go. Currently I have two metal steaks that I am going to hammer into the ground, hopefully relieving a chunk of my anger and stress. Once these stakes are firmly set in the ground, a 6 foot piece of rebar is to be attached. I will then zip-tie chicken wire to each piece of rebar creating a fence surrounding the water heater house. So now the side yard will be puppy proof, until she decides to chop down a tree.
     So what about other people. Like my roommates for example. They now have an untold amount of animosity towards me; having to deal with her relentless jumping, non-stop desire to lick, and constant stares at the meals they are trying to consume. Needless to say I am sure they are counting down the days until our lease is up and they do not have to deal with Tarri and myself anymore. I would like to think that our almost 4 years of living together and establishing friendships could overpower the frequent difficulties that arise with the Lab of my Life, but lately I have begun to for-see otherwise. Don't freak out! This was just a really well timed photo of Tarri. I was the only one of the two of us who partook in the consumption of this adult beverage bottle. So whats next?
     She needs to be spay. This will cost me in the ballpark of two-hundred and fifty dollars but will hopefully calm her down a smidgen. I also either need to find a sitter for the holidays or I will find myself forking out another two-hundred for her to fly home with me over the holiday break. I am completely aware now that the end is not near for her costing me chunks of change at a time and even a friendship or two along the way. There is one thing that I know will never change no matter what the circumstances. Tarri will love me with everything she has for as long as she is around to do so.